Friday, October 9, 2009

firstsycone

Before I start this story I need to give a little background on myself. I am a gamer and a girl. Shocking I know. My favorite game to play online is Call of Duty. I have been doing this for a couple of years now and been subject to many intelligent questions from my fellow gamers such as "are you fat" and "do you work at Playboy". Luckily I have picked up a group of weirdos that I play with (haha to the sexual connotations) on a regular basis. Actually I don't play without them anymore or if I do to I will unplug the mic. I cannot take the questions anymore.

Anyway so one day last week my husband and I were watching a movie on Netflix through our Xbox. And suddenly I get a friend request from firstsycone which I find rather odd. I haven't played recently with this player and I am watching Netflix wtf? Where did this doode find me. Not that I don't get a lot of messages and friend requests. Usually from uber cool guys who have not yet hit puberty wondering if I want to join their clan or stat boost or something else really lame, I mean super awesome. But this is when I am playing CoD. Usually I just deny these people but firstsycone really made me curious. Why in the middle of the day is this guy trying to friend me?

So we finish watching our movie and I forget about firstsycone for awhile. Next time I sign on I look at my messages and firstsycone has sent me a few. He has also included some pictures! Yay. I look up this guy's bio and it's completely in German. I am pretty much living in the land of WTF. So I can't help myself I look at message which is something like "hi :)". I have to look at the pic even though I KNOW I am going to regret it. So I do and he has sent me a lovely picture of his... self. Or as one of my CoD friends called it (keeping along with the german theme) "his weiner schnitzel". I call my husband in to see this picture and he literally screams. Which I find to be hilarious.

Of course now that he has sent me a picture of his weiner schnitzel I know this is a classy guy. So I report him and I'm going to delete him when he sends me another picture... and I can't help myself I have to look and I'm glad I did because this is what I got to see. This is the picture the guy sends to me after he sends me a picture of his WS?? I am wondering who took this pic, his mom? The bear is holding a heart that says "I love you". This guy moves fast. At this point I am laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face. firstsycone is a class act so I decide to keep him on my friends list a bit longer. Since then I have received messages such as:




Wait, he makes it all for me? Well that changes things.











I don't know what is turning me on more in this pic the pasty, hairless, white chest or the gold chains.



















When I asked him how he found me on xbox here is his response.





Lately firstsycone has been sending me mixed messages. I am not sure how to decode them

Oh the old adage "too long is not got is cracy". Words to live by.







I think my answer to this one, if it is a question, is no.






I still have not deleted him. I can't do it. This stuff is comic gold. For now firstsycone is here to stay. At least until they suspend his account from my reporting him....

6 comments:

  1. I want to be his friend just to see what other pics there are!

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  2. You should use an online translator to come up with some broken German to send him.

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  3. text him something like "your weinner is big... but mine is longer"

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  4. In the name of the Federal Republic of Germany I hereby apologise for that guy.

    If you want to get rid of him, send him something like this:

    "Alter, verpiss dich endlich! Nur weil ich eine Frau bin, heißt das nicht, dass du mir gleich Bilder von deinem Pimmel schicken musst! Desweiteren bin ich verheiratet und wenn du nicht willst, dass mein Ehemann dich mal als Sandsack benutzt, nervst du besser jemand anders!"

    The English equivalent would be:

    "Dude, p*** off already! Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that you should send me pictures of your wiener! Besides, I'm married and if you don't want my husband to use you as a punching bag, you'd better annoy someone else!"

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  5. I'm curious, and slightly scared, of what goes through a guy's brain when he figures it's a really good idea to introduce himself with a photo of his wang.

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